Teaching thankfulness

I'll be the first to admit that we give a lot to our son. He has many new toys, he gets to go to Disney World once or twice each year, and taking him out to eat isn't a rare occasion. We give him a weekly conditional allowance that he often uses to buy new games for his Matt's iPad. He wears new clothes and shoes and gets his hair cut at a salon. He is a fortunate boy.

I like to give things to my son. I love seeing his face light up with unexpected gifts or surprises. What parent doesn't want to give to their children? I enjoy giving things to Asher especially because he is usually a gracious child. While he has a lot, we have always been careful not to spoil him. He does not get a new toy every time we go out. I do not give him a separate meal if he doesn't like what I have cooked for everyone else. We turn his favorite cartoon off when it's time to start school and he doesn't complain. He hears and accepts the word 'no' without a fuss.

Still, there's no way around it - Asher gets a lot of things he wants, usually not immediately or for no reason, but most of the time that special toy he's been asking for does show up under the Christmas tree or wrapped in birthday paper.

I want to give things to my son. But more than that, I want him to be thankful for what he has.

I recently read an article about how thankfulness and expressing gratitude have tremendous positive effects on children. In a nutshell, research shows they become happier children who make better grades, have a greater sensitivity to others, and are more likely to achieve personal goals.

All those things are great reasons to teach thankfulness. But the main reason I want Asher to be thankful is because God commands it. In fact, one of the Bible verses Asher memorized this year was 1 Thessalonians 5:18: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

So how do you instill a sense of thankfulness in a child? It's easy to make them say "thank you" after they've been given something, but does it mean anything or is it just out of habit? Obviously I'm not saying a child shouldn't be guided to say "thank you". It's the polite thing to say. But are children always genuine when they say it? Probably not always.

To start us on the path to genuine gratitude, I realized we needed to first be aware of all the things we should be thankful for. So as part of our school day, Asher writes in a Thankfulness Journal.

Every day he writes something he is thankful for and then draws a picture to illustrate it. So, he's both becoming more aware of what he has to be thankful for AND gets penmanship practice. Score!

I am looking forward to filling up this book with all the things we've been blessed with. We'll enjoy going back through it to see what God has given us.

This article has lots more great ideas for ways to teach thankfulness. I hope to implement more of them as time goes on and Thankfulness Journals get filled!