Ash & Ace: Mother's Day #6

Sunday marked the 6th Mother's Day I've celebrated as a mother myself.

In a way, it seems hard to believe it's only my sixth Mother's Day. Six years doesn't sound like a very long time, and still I feel like I've been a mother forever. I can hardly remember myself before mommyhood. And I don't mean that as a bad thing - I just mean once you reach parenthood, you never go back to your pre-parenthood frame of mind again.

And I wouldn't want to anyway.

Sure, Matt and I sometimes reminisce about the days of seeing movies with 10pm showtimes. We often try to remember what it's like to go somewhere without a diaper bag. We long for the time we only had to buy two plane tickets (not to mention how much less I had to pack in my carry-on bag back then). And the days when we could go to a restaurant without a large supply of Cheerios or Goldfish crackers stuffed haphazardly into my purse - was that actually the norm at one time? Amazing!

Pre-children dinner: leisurely, quiet evening by the sea

Post-children dinner: choose a loud restaurant and then eat as fast as you can while making sure the baby cannot reach anything from where he is sitting

Pre-children activity: first class dinner on the Las Vegas Strip

Post-children activity: licking the rest of my son's discarded , melting ice cream at a church picnic

Pre-children vacation: hike through the desert to find ancient drawings

Post-children vacation: The Wiggles in concert

But then on those rare occasions Matt and I are out on our own, what do you think I miss the most? That's right - the babies. I miss getting out of the car and feeling my 6-year old's small hand slide into mine. I miss my 1-year old's constant plea, "Up?" when he wants to be in my arms. I miss their sweet smiles and the joy they bring to our day-to-day life.

I don't particularly miss the mid-meal diaper changes often required as soon as I pick up my fork.

I think motherhood is a learning experience. A constant learning experience. Maybe it never stops, even after your kids are grown. I know I've personally learned a lot in the last six years.

I'm learning to overcome my selfish tendencies. I'm learning that kids truly learn by example, by what they witness in the home (yikes!). I've understood more about God's love for me through my own unconditional love for my children (no matter what!). I've learned how unimportant material things are; all my sons really want is my time and attention.

I believe motherhood is my calling. I love learning and academics and reading and writing, and I loved the years I was fortunate enough to make a living with my writing. But the thing that's most rewarding and wonderful in my life is raising my children. And not because it's easy (it's not) or because I know everything (I don't) but because I love being a mom. I feel like this is who I'm meant to be. I love being home with them all day. Sure, like every other parent (I think?), I do the daily countdown to bedtime, and I cherish the small bits of time I manage to get out grocery shopping all alone, but for the most part I want to be with my kids as much as possible. They're awesome.

I am so thankful to be a mom.

I'm so thankful to be Asher and Asa's mom.

Here's a look back through all my Mother's Days so far...

First Mother's Day

For some reason, there does not exist a photograph of my second Mother's Day. So instead here's a picture of my dog, Molly, with an ice cream container stuck to her face: