A time for thanksgiving

Lately I've been feeling an immeasurable amount of gratitude for my life and everything in it.

We have lived in our house for a year and a half now. While we have all the essentials - and plenty of non-essentials, too - there is still a good amount of bare spaces throughout. We have two mostly-empty rooms awaiting furniture. In my mind, our entrance hall is void of some cozy touches. The large wrap-around hallway upstairs is in need of a table and lamp. There are bare walls in need of framed pictures.

And here I am, nose pressed to every Pottery Barn and home decorating catalog that appears in my mailbox, dreaming of having enough money to order everything I want to "finish off" the house. I need those beautiful framed black-and-white pictures - almost a hundred dollars a pop - to adorn the space above the headboard of our bed. I need an elegant armchair at the bottom of the stairs, an expensive blanket draped casually yet perfectly over the arm, next to a beautiful side table with an antique book and vase of fresh flowers on top. I need another expensive floor lamp on the other side of the living room to balance out the one behind the couch.

It just keeps going. And the longer it goes, the more I want, and the less satisfied I am with what I already have. And I have a lot - A LOT. We have a home that is bigger than we need. It is warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It's in a safe neighborhood. We live at the end of a quiet road with so little traffic that my kids can ride their bikes without any interruption. My kids have separate bedrooms with comfortable beds. They have more than enough toys (and so do I). I'm grateful for all these material things that make my life comfortable.

A few weeks ago, a massive tornado ripped through the Midwest. It leveled neighborhoods and took several lives. One of the families affected were homeschoolers, and they ran a business I was familiar with. When it was announced that the father and two daughters were killed in the storm, I grieved. I thought about how shocking and terrifying the experience must have been for them. I thought about how it would take a long time for them to find their "new normal". I imagined the grief in that household, with three family members taken suddenly away.

Only a few months before the tornado, a woman from my church - someone I knew from high school and had just recently reconnected with - was killed while out for her morning run. When I see her husband and children, my throat closes up and I have to fight away the grief I feel for that young family.

There is loss everywhere. Bad things - terrible things - happen all the time. It's a guarantee that I will suffer loss and grief. That's just life. And when a bad thing happens, one usually realizes what's really important. No one who loses a spouse or parent ever thinks, "I wish I had bought more stuff." No, they think, "I wish I had more time with them."

No one is guaranteed tomorrow.

So here I am, my piles of home decorating catalogs and my list of things left to get for the house. And I realized they don't matter at all. Of course I would choose people over things. But do I live like I do? Can others see that I value time and people more than I value stuff?

I've been throwing away the catalogs these days. I bring them in from the mailbox, glance through them while drinking a cup of hot tea, and admire the beautiful things inside. I may even show my husband a few things that catch my eye. But then I toss them in the trash.

I have so much to be thankful for. I have two healthy children who survived difficult circumstances at birth that many babies don't live through. I have a healthy husband and healthy parents. I have a good marriage and loving family. I got to live in Bermuda for ten whole years. I have two best friends - one in the U.S. and one in Bermuda - who are godly women I admire. We have enough money to buy clothes and groceries whenever we need them. I am surrounded by the natural beauty of God's creation. I live in a part of the world relatively free from violence and religious persecution. I can go to church without fear. I have the freedom and means to homeschool my children - and a husband who supports it. I am able to stay at home and spend all day with my boys, which is hard work but also a luxury. I'm thankful we are able to live debt-free on one income.

And there is so, so much more, so much that I can't even comprehend it. God is so good. Bad things happen in this life - terrible things - but God is still and always good. And I don't deserve any of it. "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst." (1 Timothy 1:15). I fail God all the time. I am constantly reminded of just how sinful I am. But God is still good. I am so unworthy and undeserving - but God is still good.

I am thankful.

Thankful for two healthy, precious children...

Thankful for a home filled with joy....

And more joy...

And fun.

Thank you, Lord.